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Dr. Minor offers lectures and workshops available to
nonprofit organizations, religious and educational institutions,
and businesses at reasonable cost and a sliding scale
on the following topics:
For more information about these or similar topics,
or to schedule a seminar, workshop, book talk, or lecture, contact us.
The political climate is more hostile than it has been in decades and, sadly, the impact of families can be devasting. How can LGBTQ+ people and allies have these challenging, emotinally-laden discussions in their own families without tearing people apart? How can they coach people who seek guidance on how to do this? This practical presentation will help anyone get ready and put the dynamics of all sides in a helpful perspective.
This was presented by request as a session at the Annual PFLAG National Convention in Washington, D.C. in October 2023.
Read one of Dr. Minor's columns on this topic as a preview.
Examples of available
formats:
All day workshop (7-8 hours with lunch break)
Half-day workshop (4 hours)
One hour lecture: "Preparing Ourselves for Hard CO\onversations"
Past responses from
participants:
"One of the most important and depressing sessions I have ever attended when hearing the stories of participants. Thanks for all the good practical ideas."
"Powerful speaker. Knew his subject and presented
it clearly and lovingly."
"Went way beyond the level I expected. Compassionate."
"Very practical. Helping me to get ready for family confrontations."
"Loved the three "Ps" for approaching others even beyond our family."
"I think everyone left as if they had just felt they had gone through a therepy session."
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No matter what stage of activism we have reached and
no matter what our sexual orientation, homophobia is
a pervasive condition to be faced again and again. This
workshop begins with the basic, often unexplored definition
of homophobia as "the fear of getting close to
our own sex" and shows how that culturally conditioned
fear plays itself out on all sexual orientations. Using
a systems model, it will survey the process of growth
from birth through the teenage years, suggest new understandings
of the deep-rootedness and dynamics of homophobia in
our culture, describe how that effects all people and
their relationships, and help us understand why this
continues to be a difficult issue. It is recommended
for both beginners and advanced workers in the fight
to end oppression of LGBT people. Its objectives are
to move forward the thinking and processing of people
who have already thought about these issues, to add
new dimensions to their analyses of difficulties and
interconnected issues, and to provide some practical
ways of rethinking the difficulties encountered.
Examples of available
formats:
All day workshop (7-8 hours with lunch break)
Half-day workshop (4 hours)
One hour lecture: "Scared Straight: Growing Up
in the USA"
Past responses from
participants:
"I thought I came to learn about
someone else and left knowing much more about myself."
"Wonderful speaker. Knew his subject and presented
it clearly and logically."
"One of the best presenters I've ever heard."
"Very knowledgeable, enthusiastic, even entertaining.
He expanded on information I already had and went to
the next level of awareness."
"Really gave me a specific, detailed understanding
of how powerfully gender roles enforce homophobia."
"Thank you for one of the best presentations
we have hosted....Your thoughtful analysis of homophobia
and how it affects us all, plus your compassion combined
for a powerful learning experience. Our audience was
in awe."
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Why We End Up Frustrated
and Divided and What We Can Do About it?
Columnist Molly Ivins says to activists, "Above
all have fun." But being an activist for any cause
is at times tedious, often exhausting, and even personally
destructive. Activists burn out, are blown out by others,
often feel unthanked, and even are criticized by the
people they are helping.
This is true within LGBT communities as we argue, compete
and struggle out of our internalized oppression, the
often unexamined cultural conditioning about how queer
people are supposed to be as queer people, and our personal
pasts actually unrelated to being queer. Though we have
good intentions, these do not always get us through.
The objectives of this workshop are to analyze the
causes of burnout and the negative responses of others,
to strategize about prevention of burnout and bitterness,
to look personally at our basis for activism and how
it develops as we become more active, and to learn new
ways to conceive of the things that "hook us"
when others react. We will look at what we can almost
inevitably expect as we attempt to lead and/or advocate
for a group of people who have been victimized, and
at how we can respond, move beyond negative elements
and heal them, and create support systems to encourage
our leadership.
We will look at our own "leadership issues"
and how to break through to a more human, whole-being
activism. We will identify what personally hangs us
up and triggers us when others react and what keeps
us from a relaxed, alert, and effective response to
others. This means we will be led to face our personal
agendas and see where change is necessary to nurture
ourselves as well as the movements we lead.
We will look at leadership as a chance to experience
a variety of issues that help the personal growth of
leaders as well as move the movement beyond a "victim
role."
Finally, we will develop our own personal approach
to defining leadership, leading, and our place in it,
and strategize about ways to maintain our own emotional
health.
The goals of the workshop are: (1) to reinvigorate
our movements through attention to ourselves as leaders;
(2) to put the positive and hopeful back into our activism,
(3) to be a leader who supports other leaders, (4) to
move beyond activism as an addiction (something that
keeps us from ourselves and our healing and like all
addictions is destructive) to activism as a personal
healing process; and (5) to learn how to be part of
a healing approach with all those involved in queer
activism.
Examples of available
formats:
All day workshop (7-8 hours with lunch break)
Half-day workshop (4 hours)
One hour lecture: "Being an Activist but not a
Victim"
Responses from past participants:
"It is wonderful to have practical information
about healing. Such a contrast to the many 'woe is me'
workshops I've attended. Bob presented his material
clearly and with humor and personal stories."
"For the first time in two years, I feel like
I have a basis to be able to start anew and fresh."
"The facilitator was excellent - warm and enthusiastic.
Interesting info, good handouts, time for everyone to
speak."
"This needs to be an institution or an all day
program!"
"Excellent speaker and excellent delivery and
excellent stuff to learn. This is an excellent workshop."
"I found this workshop to be the most direct and
to the point of all the workshops I've been to. I'm
so sorry that there weren't more people here."
"This changed how I view my job and interact with
others. It applied so much to my life and made so much
sense."
"I feel like I just went through therapy. I really
appreciated this."
"The most valuable session I have attended this
year. Lots of practical info. Minor is very down to
earth and easy to respect."
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Much has been said about the process of people who
do not identify as heterosexual when they "come
out." Once one has come out to oneself and then
to others, both the internal and external processes
continue. Lesbians, gay men and bisexual and transgender
people have only thus begun. Society has taught them
numerous messages about what it is to deviate from the
societally defined "straight" norm. These
messages install a "victim role" in LGBT people
which hinders their own growth. In addition LGBT people
have also been taught homophobia, which is internalized
and continues to frustrate same-sex relationships.
Using the definition of homophobia as "fear of
getting close to one's own gender," and identifying
key elements of the classic "victim role"
in the dynamics of any oppression, these workshops and
talks help explain why LGBT people treat each other
and themselves the way they do, continue to idealize
a dysfunctional "straight" model for their
life, prefer to demean and downplay (rather than celebrate)
their sexuality, and see themselves as powerless. The
workshop develops alternative ways of thinking, alternative
strategies for dealing with the homophobia and heterosexism
of others, and alternative ways to frame one's own life.
It explores both the difficulties and joys, the worries
and the gifts of being non-heterosexual. It's goal is
empowerment.
Examples of available formats:
Two-day workshop with overnight component
All day workshop (7-8 hours with lunch break)
Half-day workshop (4 hours)
One hour lecture: "I'm Out; Now What" or "Beyond
Coming Out: the Dynamics of Queer Life" or "Why
We Do What We Do to Each Other"
Responses from past participants:
"Listening to your ideas, I seriously felt like
I had been shot in the head. You managed to short-circuit
some pathways in my brain and suddenly forge new ones.
It is an odd feeling that very few people can produce
in me (Robert Anton Wilson is the author that does it
the most), but which I greatly respect. I am still mulling
over the ideas you presented."
"I want to thank you again for the wonderful workshop
on Saturday. Several people from the workshop have spoken
to me at school this week and expressed how much they
felt they got value from the day. Specifically, people
have said they appreciated your directness, your skill
at facilitating the energy of the group, and your comments
about how important it is to teach people how to treat
us."
"You gave us a mirror and challenged us to do
better and to work together better. We can all do better,
and thank you for helping me to see some specific ways
to do that. I'm about to do some 'cleaning up' as you
put it, and to initiate some important personal dialogues
with leaders so that we can build bridges together.
Again, your presentation was exactly what I needed to
hear, and I heard many people talking about how important
what you said was to them as well."
"Thank you for your kindness and compassion, and
for your courage to help us see ourselves."
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Religious arguments based on the Bible, tradition,
religious authorities, or other icons often interfere
with the liberation of transgender and bisexual people,
and lesbians and gay men. They are cited to justify
discrimination and abuse. Yet arguing about religion
is often futile, producing more heat than light, more
anger and frustration. Few walk away from such discussions
feeling good about them. This workshop's goal is to
put religious arguments into perspective, not to argue
about "what the Bible says," but to explore
strategies to defuse and redirect such arguments into
the issues that lie beneath the religious arguments
where the healing can begin. By recognizing our own
internal dynamics around past religious abuse and the
dynamics that are behind and within religious arguments,
the workshop emphasizes simple strategies to change
those dynamics. Its objectives are to give both religious
and non-religious people confidence, but not arrogance
or reactive hostility, when confronted with religious
arguments without arguing about religion, to provide
a perspective on our personal feelings about religious
arguments, and to suggest new strategies not found elsewhere
for responding to religious arguments used against LGBT
people. These strategies do not end in argument while
still clearly stating our own position of liberation.
Examples of available
formats:
All day workshop (7-8 hours with lunch break)
Half-day workshop (4 hours)
One hour lecture: "Adding Religion into the Mix"
or "Dealing with the Religious When You've Tried
Everything Else and Don't Know What to Do" or "Confronting
the Frustration of Dealing with Religious Arguments"
Past responses from
participants:
"I am the Muslim mother of a transsexual child
who attended your workshop. I'd like to commend you
for your definitive viewpoints. Especially when you
stated how one should not enter discussions on religion,
I could so deeply relate to that."
"By far one of he best sessions I've been to
in all the BGC's I've been to."
"Robert Minor moved me to rethink how I deal with
religion and arguments on the Bible. A most effective
and informative workshop."
"Minor's contributions were great -- how not to
argue with people about what the Bible says."
"It exceeded my expectations. My only complaint
is we needed more time."
"I love Minor's deep comprehension and clear analysis
of complex historical issues. I bet he could work out
the Iraq issue."
"Minor presented a clearly stated and useful perspective
on religion and homosexuality."
"Informative, empowering and substantial. I especially
liked Dr. Minor's strategies."
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One of the standard pieces of “wisdom”
in our society is that there are opposite sexes who
are unlike, opposed, and inscrutable to each other as
if they are from two different planets. Children are
born fully human with all human characteristics, but
within a few years boys and girls have been conditioned
to exhibit certain characteristics of their gender and
reject those of the “other” gender. This
workshop traces the process of making boys and men,
girls and women, and confronts the rewards for going
along and the penalties for deviating from the roles.
It’s goals are to help us understand other human
beings no matter what sex or gender they are, and to
understand how this conditioning limits us personally,
our relationships, and our marriages and partnering
experiences.
Examples of available
formats:
All day workshop (7-8 hours with lunch break)
Half-day workshop (4 hours)
One hour lecture: "The Opposite Sexes: Growing
Up in the USA"
Past responses from participants:
"As he spoke about the history of the roles of
men and women and the impact society has made upon these
roles, it truly made me think of how society has impacted
myself and the effect it has in my own personal relationships."
"I felt empowered after hearing Dr. Minor's lecture.
I want to get his lecture on video to give to my siblings
with children."
"I find your work so interesting, thoughtful,
and real. And your presentation of your work is so dynamic
and engaging."
"Dr. Minor brought to my attention a real understanding
of gender roles. Not just that, but an improved insight
on how men and women view each other."
I felt as though I better understand myself and can
realize why I'm this way and so on. This acknowledgement
of gender conditioning made me want to spread the word."
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The messages we receive from our culture about relationships
profoundly affect LGBT people and how they relate in
their most intimate relationships. These messages have
nothing to do with sexual orientation, though the dominant
culture teaches us that somehow they have to do with
being non-heterosexual. We identify six sets of messages
which hurt LGBT relationships in order to improve and
affirm what it means to be a whole LGBT person who is
prepared to enter into a healthy committed relationships
with another.
Examples of available
formats:
All day workshop (7-8 hours with lunch break)
Half-day workshop (4 hours)
1 1/2 - 2 hour workshop
One hour lecture: "How to Make LGBT Relationships
Better"
Past responses from
participants:
"I took notes because I knew my brain was going
to be full. And it was."
"Insightful. So much new information, insights.
It's going to take me a long time to work through what
you've given me. And it's so right on."
"God, I can't believe how true this all is for
both straight and glbt people. I'm floored."
"I'd been to other sessions you led at this conference,
so I couldn't miss what you had to say about relationships.
Glad I didn't -- miss it , I mean."
"You identified problems but you also gave me
hope and practical steps to make my relationship better."
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Our culture seems to have given up on men. They are
considered naturally violent, angry, testosterone-driven,
sexually out-of-control, and egocentric. But are they?
Our culture raises boys to be men in ways that install
in them a sense that their worth is in killing themselves
for a cause, competitive activities which defeat other
men, sexual activities, and the conquering (even demeaning)
of women. Most men do not meet the standard of masculinity
this sets before them. To cover this up they react in
culturally conditioned ways which do not aid their personal
growth. We examine how our cultural system raises boys
to be men through fear of not being manly enough, what
this does to relationships with other men and women,
how this effects the institutions of our society, and
why this is a difficult issue to resolve. We also begin
to unravel the issues, face the process of change that
is necessary, and strategize ways that people who work
with men can use to make progress in healing. We also
look at our own issues around men. The workshop emphasizes
healing rather than the culture’s usual emphasis
on merely coping with men’s problems and nature.
Men are actually whole, complete, wonderful, nurturing
human beings who are not what they have been portrayed
to be and conditioned to be.
Examples of available
formats:
All day workshop (7-8 hours with lunch break)
Weekend overnight workshop (4 hours and 8 hours)
Half-day workshop (4 hours)
One hour lecture: "Making Real Men: The Journey
of Our Boys"
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